Hack of the Week: Colin Cowherd
I know what at least some of you are thinking: who?
Colin Cowheard is the voice of ESPN radio’s “The Herd” program, which owns the lunch timeslot for the radio network, following the much more entertaining Mike and Mike in the Mornings. I’ve listened to Herdie-boy a few times while picking up lunch during the week and more often than not I end up switching to a music station or CD.
Why?
Because he’s just that bad. He’s constantly trying to be funny and just as constantly fails. Badly. Worse, he’s always pausing after each joke like he’s waiting for his listeners to catch their collective breath. Frankly, his show desperately needs a canned studio audience so that he can pipe in some fake laughter cause god knows he’s the least funny radio-personality I’ve heard since Lt. Steve in the movie Good Morning, Vietnam. The only thing I’ve listened to this week that’s more nauseating than his radio show was enduring Bill Walton express his man-love for Dwayne Wade during the Pistons/Heat game last night. That, however, is not why he’s my hack of the week.
You see, evidently, Cowherd was, for a moment, geniuinely funny this week when he broadcasted a fake Wunderlich test (after talking about Vince Young) for listeners to call in and answer. Here’s a sample question:
“1. If the Ohio State tailback gets $42,000 from a Buckeye booster but the Escalade he wants is $57,000, he should:
a) Buy a different SUV
b) Take a job he doesn’t have to show up for from another booster to cover the difference
c) Ask Maurice Clarett to borrow one for him
d) Transfer to an SEC school with more generous boosters”
Oh yeah, that’s good stuff. Well, maybe not to Bill, but whatever. Trouble is he (or one of his staffers) lifted it from the very excellent M Zone blog. And hey, that might’ve been no big deal, except the asshat didn’t bother to credit the source. Uh, nice going. But even that isn’t the best part. When the good folks at M Zone wrote to complain this is the response they got from Colin “I Don’t Care That I’m a Plagiarist” Cowherd himself:
“WE WERE SENT IT….WE HAD NO IDEA..BUT THE INCESSANT WHINING…MEANS I WON’T GIVE YOU CREDIT NOW..GET OVER IT
CC”
First, what’s with the all-caps emails? Second, if the material was “sent” to him, why did he not credit the person who sent it (or have one of the studio go-fors Google a phrase from the text)? Third, inadvertently or not, the dude plagiarized M Zone and instead of just apologizing (publicly or privately) he calls them a bunch of whiners. That’s class all the way, Colin. Once again ESPN is setting the bar high.
The trouble for this guy is that this story is making the rounds on sites like Deadspin, Every Day Should Be Saturday, and just about every Michigan blog you can imagine. And god knows how many others. So, at this point there’s probably only about, I don’t know, one-hundred billion people who know the guy’s a hack.
Congratulations to Colin Cowherd! You, dear sir, are my Hack of the Week!