Trouble with parity is that teams don’t remain crap for long enough (with a very few exceptions). At least in soccer I can support Man City safe in the knowledge that they will not achieve anything in my lifetime.

It’s 1982, and a 17yr old English kid catches a show on Sunday evening on a new TV channel - Channel 4 (and guess how many channels there were on TV at that time…in total).

The show is a one hour weekly NFL show, with one main game and short highlights of the others. I have no relatives or other connections to the US, and am therefore free to pick any team.

If I had been sensible, I’d have gone for the Redskins, Raiders, Cowboys, Bears, Packers like everyone else seemed to. But Mancunians are sarcastic, contrary creatures, so I went for the one that was most middle of the road, with the smartest kit..guess who.

So began 23 years of Bengaldom, primarily awful, occasionally robbed (1986, 1988, 2005), very occasionally brilliant.

Marvin’s made them trendy…I’m considering dumping them for the Cardinals.

The NFL came on to British TV in 83, and I remember Madden going on about how massive Joe Jacoby was at 300lb. He’d be the lightest player on the line now - you’ve got QBs and RBs at 270. And if anyone tells me that the average size of a player can rise by 15% in 20 years because of better nutrition, they had best be fooling themselves because no-one else is buying it.

Anyway, rant over. Almost all the modern uni makeovers are a disgrace (Broncos, Cards, Bills, Seahawks), but as a Bengal fan I can make one statement without fear of seeming OTT.

The person responsible for the new Bengal kits should be taken out to midfield in PBS and shot dead.

And then burnt on a bonfire made up of those horrible shirts.

But then again:
Flying Elvis 3 Super Bowl Wins out of 4
Pat Patriot 0 Super Bowl Wins out of 1